As we wrap up May known as Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to take some time and talk about a few messages that really resonated with me.
First let me say that often times when I work with clients on their personal style, branding, decluttering- whatever the service may be, the common theme is self-confidence or lack thereof. While I service men, women are my main demographic and are often in a period of transition.
From weight gain to weight loss. Becoming a mother if that is your ministry lol or evolving into empty nesters. Not to mention all the time in between where you don't have as much time for yourself. Taking a leap of faith from working corporate or a 9 to 5 to becoming an entrepreneur or returning to the workforce after some time away. There are so many other scenarios that I could speak to but hopefully you get the idea.
Anyhow- in this time of transition and even self-discovery or rediscovery, it is so easy to become victim to the comparison game. Looking to those within your industry or who you may follow socially and their level of attained success and wishing for your own. Maybe even trying to do things their way with hopes that you can achieve the same. See working in the fashion and style industry- there is often emphasis on the exterior. However true self- confidence goes way beyond the outside. There is no need to doll up your outside if deep down inside you don't feel beautiful. That's where sessions with me begin- assessing your confidence levels.
I am also here to help you understand that you and only you possess the blueprint to your destiny and there is no perfect formula to bring that to fruition. And the beauty of being in possession of your own blueprints is that you can change, evolve, restructure or scrap them whenever you wish because they are YOURS.
I read a devotional from "Strength of Each Day" every morning and this one from yesterday was so simple but spoke so loudly to me.
And yes it uses the word that we all know "unique", which at times in my opinion can be overused but doesn't make it any less true. Each of us are unique, a gift to the world and not meant to be like everybody else. It simply says "although other people may set good examples that we want to follow, it's a big mistake to REJECT ourselves and try to be someone other than who we are".
So when I speak with clients or design custom pieces- I do my best to emphasize the POWER we possess all on our own. I want people to embrace their individual power and recognize that while it's okay to be inspired by others, you don't have to impersonate or imitate them because you are an individual and personal style is just that- personal again meaning YOURS.
The definition of individual from Oxford is "single, separate, for a particular person being DISTINCT from a group".
You are not like the others even if the world tries to convince you to be.
I want to finish with an example of not being like the others. Recently, I had a serious health issue (thankfully and prayerfully I am okay) and my therapist having full disclosure of what I was dealing with gave me an assignment to take myself out on a solo date. To be good to myself and to love on myself but more importantly to be reminded that God is the author of my story and regardless of the results- it's not over until it's over.
She encouraged me to get dressed up, put on my favorite perfume and have an evening on my own schedule- no one else's and I did just that.
So "Nuit" my all black blazer not yet available on the site (shameless plug ha) and I along with my new zebra baby I bought in Italy, got all gussied up for a girl's night out. I decided I would grab a light bite and libation at my favorite neighborhood French restaurant and then catch the Little Mermaid on its opening weekend just to reconnect with the kid inside.
I got to the restaurant and of course it being a Friday night, it was fully booked but the always ever so kind staff offered me a seat at the nearly empty bar, which was perfect. If you have never been to LPM Galleria- the bar is a beautiful centerpiece to the entire cuisine experience and so I was more than pleased.
As I was escorted to a seat, the bartender greeted me with a smile and the menu. The sounds of Chaka Khan, Charlie Wilson and the Isley Brothers filled the air and I was absolutely convinced that this was just what the doctor ordered (literally).
I opted for a Spritzer of my favorite elderflower cordial liquor- St Germain's and a plate of fabulous Foie Gras terrine with fresh tomato, balsamic and French brioche. Needless to say I was in heaven. I began to rock a bit to the music- nothing too crazy as to not disturb anyone and when I looked back to grab the attention of a waiter, I noticed a couple nearby staring at me, and then when I looked to my right so was the gentleman seated at the bar.
Now I promise I was minding my business, sharing a few stories here and there with the bartender and even the staff brought me over complimentary tapenade to try with my foie gras.
I was in my zone and loving every bit of it. But then it hit me that it may be unusual to some to see a woman all alone on a Friday night and dare I say having a good time (insert audible gasp). Or maybe they were taken aback of when the bartender asked "what film are you catching tonight- FAST X" and my reply was "nope the Little Mermaid and I'm looking forward to it". Which btw I never made it to the movie because it was sold out (let's go Halle). So maybe their thought was this woman all alone.... is going to see the Little Mermaid.....yeah even weirder huh? But I didn't care.
See I have never had a fear of my own company. I quite like myself-even on my not so good days and for some that may be a challenge. To find peace or solitude in your own company is important because if you can't be around you- how can you expect others to. But this also lends to my point of not being like the others.
I have always been creative, outspoken, different or as some may call "weird" but I have learned to lean into that because I am okay with not being like the others. I think I am just as much fun alone as I am with a group and that's because I am not only confident but comfortable with who I am. While I haven't always been that way, I have realized as I have gotten older that it is much more important what I think of me than what others think.
A snap right outside LPM- how appropriate huh?
If you too are on a journey of self- discovery, know that it's okay to date yourself, love yourself, listen to yourself, spend time with yourself and get to know who you are without the noise or company of others. It's very revealing. You learn to value your own opinions, work through your feelings but also understand that your feelings are not fact. And what does "feelings aren't fact" mean? Don't allow them to be your guide but do allow them to become informative of what, who or where is and isn't good for you. They are feelings and they will pass so allow them to but remain firm in the fact that you are an UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL!
So even if cliche- as we used to recite with affirmations on Saturdays at my church youth program:
I AM UNIQUE
I AM BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE
NO ONE CAN BE ME BUT ME
And these have never rang so true in my ears as it does now.
Lastly- in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month- I want to share an opportunity to pursue personal therapy on your own with TWO WEEKS FREE from BetterHelp online therapy.
