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Sooo… I’m in a funk?

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Sounds about right!

I would describe myself as typically happy, some would say goofy but like most of us I have my good days and my not so good days. Today or should I say yesterday would be one. Or more like just an “off” day. I mean so much so it has me up thinking and clearly writing about it at 4:30 in the morning. I mean have you ever had one of those? You know one of those days where the “enlightened” folk would say “the universe” or the “cosmos” isn’t “aligned” or whatever that means. A day where you just can’t get right. Yes you read that correctly CAN’T….GET….RIGHT. Yeah I’m having one of those.

I mean I woke up raring to go to my race training for dragonboating. Yes yall- dragonboating. For those who know me- picture it Sicily 1924. Just kidding- but not really-  picture ME…on a tiny boat….with 15-20 ACTIVE women depending on the day, who actually know what they’re doing, paddling away for an hour and a half. But I have come to enjoy it and dare I say love it, as it’s semi helped me overcome my fear of large bodies of water and swimming, and water, and drowning and water and more water. As usual, I digress- so we will get into dragonboating another day. So where was I? Ahh yes- my day of funk began with dragonboating.

But nonetheless, the day was just off though. I got to practice and as soon as I got on the boat, I wanted OFF the boat. No particular reason, nobody had offended me, nothing bad had happened, I just wanted to be anywhere but there. But I didn’t know where I wanted to be. I didn’t want to be back in bed or Texas or Abu Dhabi, I just wanted to just BE- yeah that’s it- JUST BE. But it wasn’t making sense to me and this wasn’t a normal feeling.

See on a usual not so good day, I could pinpoint the issue, you know determine the root cause about why I was in a mood but again this was different. Was it issues with my business? Which by the way….(insert shameless plug- visit www.bridgestoborders.com). New collection-soon cometh. Was it emails from logistics and other vendors looming over my head that I just didn’t care to answer? My mother’s pending visit? No, because I was more than excited to see her. Bills, bills, bills?- no, those were all current and accounted for.  So what the hell was it?  I just couldn’t figure out what it was and why I felt this way and that was driving me crazy.

So I came on home after the boating workout and decided to just crash, no shower, no nothing and I know I smelt…. yes smelt like salt water, mounds of sand and dirty socks- #JUDGEME, but that’s how unbothered or I guess bothered I was by this off day. So bothered that I smelled how I felt- FUNKY! I just wasn’t my usual self. I then went on to ignore a few stupid- I mean check a few pressing business emails and decided, you know what today is just a very off day and that’s just what it is.

After I crashed for what seemed like forever, I woke up and it was time to start dinner. I mean just cause I’m having an off day, doesn’t mean hubby doesn’t have to eat. But shout out to him though, when he came home from a long day at work, I was still cooking dinner looking like the female version of Edward Scissorhands (his words not mines- cause I recently cut my hair).  Yet he still sat and listened while I moaned and groaned about a bunch of nothing and even offered to finish dinner. Did I mention he’s the greatest- today, in this moment, like ever (ask me tomorrow how I feel j/k)? I mean I smelled, my hair was a mess, dinner was late AND I’m complaining about a bunch of NOTHING and he still loves me. Babe is the real MVP-even with the little snide Scissorhands remark.
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But I thought, the least I could do is make this man dinner- so I did. But even that was off. My chicken just wouldn’t defrost fast enough- so I settled on gluten free sausage and grits, but my gravy wouldn’t cooperate either. It just wasn’t- I don’t know acting like gravy. It was just the little things that were bothering me and I’m not usually that kind of person, but I just felt so defeated about it all and I knew this was not me- nor my finest hour or day should I say.

So as I finished up the fiasco of  a dinner, Carlos turned on our usual Sunday church service stream of Lighthouse Church in Houston, Texas and I listened from the kitchen as Pastor Keion delivered messages on blessings, timing and seasons. He then began to mention the power of sowing seeds and then I saw him do something outstanding.

There was a random young woman who he asked to run from one side of the pulpit to the other, twice and in doing so he blessed her with $100. And then immediately after, he called out to the congregation and asked who was in great financial trouble, who was behind on bills, really struggling and whose lights were about to be turned off?  I  mean he got really specific and no one raised their hands. Now let’s be real- this is a mega church and you mean to tell me NOBODY NEEDED A BLESSING.  But God saw fit for one woman to put her pride aside and approach the altar.

In that very moment, he blessed her with $300. Little did we know her lights were about to be cut off. His Associate Pastor then approached and whispered to him and next thing we knew he announced that she was facing eviction and within 10 minutes he blessed her with another $400. And then floodgates opened as church members began to approach her with $100….. and another $100…… and another $100, these were people she didn’t even know. And soon she was in tears…. I was in tears, we were in tears, watching as this woman who walked in virtually with nothing but need, now have $1000 to her name.

To add to the story- this was her first time visiting the church and look at the blessing she received, just by turning it all over to God. It was in that moment I began to think about me and my funk. What purpose was it serving? I had already acknowledged that it was uncharacteristic- and in knowing so, why was I allowing it ruin and have so much power over my day? And then to add insult to injury, here I am living in the UAE, in a city that so many people may never see, having the opportunity to run my business full time, blessed with my bills to be paid and on time, a hard working, faithful and praying husband who ensures that I have no worries and yet I’m in a funk. What type of sense did that make?

This required me to take a hard look at myself. Not to beat myself up for having a moment, but to recognize the blessings in the fact that I can have this moment with a roof over my head, not a worry in the world that isn’t self inflicted. Sooooo tomorrow which is only in a few hours, I am deciding to turn this “so I’m in a funk” into “soooo I WASSSSS in a funk” and then acknowledge that God replaced my worry and ridiculousness with humility and blessed me to have another day and opportunity to make what I got wrong- all the way right.

I am constantly reminding myself that I may have bad days but I don’t have a bad life and that’s enough of a blessing to go around. I pray that the lady from Lighthouse lives a life of increase in every way imaginable and never has to experience that level of pain again, but I also thank her for showing that pride comes before the fall and if you place it aside- you don’t have to fall. Oh but if you do- there will be someone higher and mightier there to catch you. So if you too are in a funk, let it flee.

XOXO,

Devereaux Scissorhands aka “We was in a Funk…..but got up out dat funk”

*cues classic “We Want the Funk” by George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelic”

P.S. Shout out to good friends who send much needed hilarious reminders like these #Ilovemygirls

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